Hello again!
I seriously can't remember the last time I wrote here, and I didn't look it up, so whatever.
Living with mom and dad has turned out to be a blessing now that we know dad has pancreatic cancer. Chances are he's not going to be around a whole long time. You should see him. In March of this year, when he started complaining about feeling bad, he weighed 305 and he's 6'3". Last night he said he weighed 224. You can see his bones sticking out of his back and he can barely keep his pants on. Skin hangs everywhere and his eyes are starting to look sunken in. He's got a doctor's appt this morning and he thinks they are going to put him in the hospital for dehydration. He's not eating. Says it hurts his stomach. His back constantly hurts. He can't start chemo until he's stronger.
It just sucks. And I'm pissed about it all. I'm pissed because even though he turns 70 next month, I'm only 29. My older brothers and sisters have had him around a lot longer than I have. And it took me a long time to appreciate my dad. I was in college before I started to appreciate him. I guess I"m just being selfish with this next one, but I'm not married and if dad dies in the next year, he won't ever see me get married. Gah.
Which brings me to my next topic! Woo! I think I need to hire a personal trainer. I seriously have tried doing this on my own and now that I'm not living alone I don't have the luxury of exercising in my living room. I can sit here and list all the reasons I need to do it, but most of all, I need someone to kick my ass about this. I don't want sweet little motivator skinny girl as a trainer. I want someone who's going to get in my face from time to time and keep me accountable.
So that's where I am right now.
That, and I am doing everything I can to find a new place to work next school year. I hate it here. And I know that's a bad attitude to have, but if I say "Oh, it's not that bad" I'll never leave.
Living with mom and dad has turned out to be a blessing now that we know dad has pancreatic cancer. Chances are he's not going to be around a whole long time. You should see him. In March of this year, when he started complaining about feeling bad, he weighed 305 and he's 6'3". Last night he said he weighed 224. You can see his bones sticking out of his back and he can barely keep his pants on. Skin hangs everywhere and his eyes are starting to look sunken in. He's got a doctor's appt this morning and he thinks they are going to put him in the hospital for dehydration. He's not eating. Says it hurts his stomach. His back constantly hurts. He can't start chemo until he's stronger.
It just sucks. And I'm pissed about it all. I'm pissed because even though he turns 70 next month, I'm only 29. My older brothers and sisters have had him around a lot longer than I have. And it took me a long time to appreciate my dad. I was in college before I started to appreciate him. I guess I"m just being selfish with this next one, but I'm not married and if dad dies in the next year, he won't ever see me get married. Gah.
Which brings me to my next topic! Woo! I think I need to hire a personal trainer. I seriously have tried doing this on my own and now that I'm not living alone I don't have the luxury of exercising in my living room. I can sit here and list all the reasons I need to do it, but most of all, I need someone to kick my ass about this. I don't want sweet little motivator skinny girl as a trainer. I want someone who's going to get in my face from time to time and keep me accountable.
So that's where I am right now.
That, and I am doing everything I can to find a new place to work next school year. I hate it here. And I know that's a bad attitude to have, but if I say "Oh, it's not that bad" I'll never leave.
posted by Hungry Fat Girl @ 5:30 AM
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