On again, off again...

I'm having more off days than on days and last night just really took it out of me. And it shouldn't have. We went to the rodeo and had 2 beers, a bit of food, and an extremely good concert. The seats were too small for my butt to fit in, but that's the way it always is. We were out pretty late for a work night. I went to bed around 12:30 a.m. and had trouble getting up at 6:30 a.m. I usually get up around 5:45 a.m. Anyway, I felt awful. My body ached (we did "a lot" of walking), I was short of breath from just washing and drying my hair, my arms felt funny, and I just wanted to sit down. I felt hungover. When I got to work, walking from the car to my classroom was torture.

My coworker convinced me to go to the nurse and have my blood pressure checked. It was 138 over 80. She said the bottom number was fine, but the top number was borderline. She's known me 4 years now and knows I lost a lot of weight two years ago, and we've talked about diet and exercise a lot before, so she's not judgemental. She told me what I already knew...that just losing 10-20 pounds would change my BP numbers. She also invited me to the Pilates classes they do after school here. I think not.

I just don't know why I'm having a such a hard time with this. It was so much easier last time I was successful.

I have researched Lap-Band surgery enough to know it's not for me. I don't care what everyone else says, I just don't want to do it.

It's also very frustrating to hear people who are just a little overweight talk about how gross they feel. Makes me wonder if they look at me and think I'm gross.