ACK!

I'm going to the doctor soon, I think. Both my mom and my coworker have told me it's probably a good idea for me to get a physical soon. Here are my symptoms:

• My feet/ankles swell every day (mostly my right ankle, and when i wake up it's fine, but like...my right ankle is stiff and I did have an injury in that foot about a year ago...it's either the injury that's making it swell or something else...like...heart failure.)
• My heart beats fast and loud (I am aware of being able to hear it most of the time). My blood pressure is 138/80.
• I'm tired alllllllll the time. This could be because I'm pre-diabetic, anemic (I have really long periods...like...you don't even want to know how long), or because of my stupid allergies and sinus issues.

Anyway, I know when I write in this blog I sound like a hypochondriac, and that's not really how I am. I HATE going to the doctor and usually put sinus infections off until I've let it turn into bronchitis and/or strep throat.

Ok, so moving on to food. It's been really, really bad lately. I eat sugar like it's good for me. So, at first I was going to put myself on the diabetic diet, but then I realised I can pretty much do the WW Core plan and cut out most sugars. I just went to the grocery store. The other thing about the Core plan is that as long as you eat Core foods, you don't have to count points. You eat whatever Core foods you want until you're satisfied. I usually don't overeat on stuff like chicken, fruits, veggies, so I'm going to try it out. And I still have 35 points a week to use on stuff that's not a Core food.

I think the hardest thing about the Core plan is cereal. I'm a huge sugar-added cereal fan. I'm trying a Kashi cereal tomorrow. We'll see!

I'm also not going to be unrealistic. For instance, I know I'm going to lunch Monday (I"m on spring break!) with a fellow teacher, and I'll order whatever I want, but I'm only going to eat half.

And my goal for exercise is to put on my walking shoes and walk 10 minutes a day.

Like I said, I'm on spring break, so I think this will be a good week for me to concentrate on eating better. I don't have work stress to worry about (as much), and I'm just planning my move, so I've got lots of free time. I was feeling pretty icky when I came home from the store. I hadn't had anything to eat, and my sinus headache was pounding, but I chose to eat some grapes and a huge orange, and now the hunger pains are gone. Now I can eat a healthy portion of Core foods and be done with it.

On again, off again...

I'm having more off days than on days and last night just really took it out of me. And it shouldn't have. We went to the rodeo and had 2 beers, a bit of food, and an extremely good concert. The seats were too small for my butt to fit in, but that's the way it always is. We were out pretty late for a work night. I went to bed around 12:30 a.m. and had trouble getting up at 6:30 a.m. I usually get up around 5:45 a.m. Anyway, I felt awful. My body ached (we did "a lot" of walking), I was short of breath from just washing and drying my hair, my arms felt funny, and I just wanted to sit down. I felt hungover. When I got to work, walking from the car to my classroom was torture.

My coworker convinced me to go to the nurse and have my blood pressure checked. It was 138 over 80. She said the bottom number was fine, but the top number was borderline. She's known me 4 years now and knows I lost a lot of weight two years ago, and we've talked about diet and exercise a lot before, so she's not judgemental. She told me what I already knew...that just losing 10-20 pounds would change my BP numbers. She also invited me to the Pilates classes they do after school here. I think not.

I just don't know why I'm having a such a hard time with this. It was so much easier last time I was successful.

I have researched Lap-Band surgery enough to know it's not for me. I don't care what everyone else says, I just don't want to do it.

It's also very frustrating to hear people who are just a little overweight talk about how gross they feel. Makes me wonder if they look at me and think I'm gross.

day 2

Ok, so I had a good day as far as food went...well...I stayed within my points. I MUST make it to the grocery store tonight or I'll be in big trouble soon.

I did the 1 mile Walk Away The Pounds yesterday and it seriously almost killed me. That makes me soooooo sad because I used to be able to do intense cardio for more than an hour. :(
But whatever, I'll just keep doing it until I can do it without hurting. Then I'll move on to the 2 mile dvd.

Ok, in totally unrelated news, I had a highly inappropriate dream about a male coworker. Now I can't stop thinking about it. I haven't seen him today, but I'm sure I'll blush when I do see him. He's new here and he's not someone you look at and go, HE'S HOT! But he's fairly tall (at least my height) and he did a couple of things yesterday that made me laugh. I haven't ever actually talked to him until yesterday, which is probably why I had the dream. We had like a 3 sentence conversation about the water cooler being empty. We didn't even make eye contact. HAHAHHA...funny.

I also find it amusing that the day I decide to start WW over is the day the tour dates are announced. It's like I'm getting in gear for the summer even though I'm only going to travel once. I'm moving home to save money and my parents know that I'm going on at least one trip but they'll be all "you're supposed to be saving money" if I go on two trips.

I'm not saying this stuff on my real blog, but I really, really want to go to Alpine. But one of my friends told me I should hold out for a Boston date to be announced. She wants to show me Boston and I've never been there, so I'm kind of excited about that.

I'm also going to try and do C-Ville, but on the DL. I'm trying to stay as far away from having to plan anything with this one certain person, and I know that one certain person is going to try and go to c-ville also, so I don't want to mention it to her. ;)

Hmmm

SO much is going on with work and other stuff that I'm only able to half concentrate on food today, but I did eat breakfast (which I'd been skipping or eating junk), so that's good. And I was able to pack a lunch for today even though I didn't get to the grocery store like I wanted to last night. I'm going to try and get there tonight but it may have to wait until Thursday. I looked through my fridge and pantry this morning and I think I can manage until then.

I'm doing the 1 mile WATP dvd when I get home today. WOO!