I'm not dead
But I feel like I might be soon if I don't seriously get back on program.
I'm pretty sure I've gained all the weight I lost, but I really want to try again. A coworker of mine was saying that she'd lost 16 pounds on the Atkins because her daughter's wedding is coming up. She was telling me how nobody can tell (it's hard to tell when she's not that overweight in the first place and she wears baggy clothes) but when she lays in bed she can feel her hip bones again.
It made me think of the time I was in bed and could feel my hip bones. That was about a year and a half ago, but that's no longer the case. It also made me think of how good my legs were looking. I was building muscle tone and I really felt good too.
I want to get that feeling back. I'm moving in two months and I think that will actually help me out. Living with people makes me more aware of what I eat.
Anyway. It's not too late. I've still got over a year before I turn 30. I haven't even turned 29 yet, and I can still get a lot done in 16 months. If I can just make myself start exercising, I think I would feel more in control. And part of the reason I haven't been exercising is because my DVD player in my living room hadn't been working properly. I fixed that last night (I am a genius, but that's another story), so now the only thing holding me back is finding the time to actually pop in that 1 mile Walk Away The Pounds DVD. I need to find out my brother's work schedule and I can do it at night. I can't do it in the morning because he's always asleep in the living room.
Anyway, I want to try again. Really. I feel really sick. Really unhealthy, and I hate it.
I want to feel my hip bones again.
I was in my closet today and I ran across a little skirt I used to wear in high school. I was in the flag corps, and on Fridays we wore little outfits to school kind of like cheerleaders. I have a green pleated skirt that I could wear when I was junior. I want to be able to put that on again. I've seen pictures of what I looked like in high school, and though I thought I was fat then (because that's what my mom told me), I know now that I wasn't that fat. I needed to lose about 40 pounds then. Now I need to lose about 175 pounds. Amazing, isn't it?
Anyway, I just need to try. One day at a time.
I'm pretty sure I've gained all the weight I lost, but I really want to try again. A coworker of mine was saying that she'd lost 16 pounds on the Atkins because her daughter's wedding is coming up. She was telling me how nobody can tell (it's hard to tell when she's not that overweight in the first place and she wears baggy clothes) but when she lays in bed she can feel her hip bones again.
It made me think of the time I was in bed and could feel my hip bones. That was about a year and a half ago, but that's no longer the case. It also made me think of how good my legs were looking. I was building muscle tone and I really felt good too.
I want to get that feeling back. I'm moving in two months and I think that will actually help me out. Living with people makes me more aware of what I eat.
Anyway. It's not too late. I've still got over a year before I turn 30. I haven't even turned 29 yet, and I can still get a lot done in 16 months. If I can just make myself start exercising, I think I would feel more in control. And part of the reason I haven't been exercising is because my DVD player in my living room hadn't been working properly. I fixed that last night (I am a genius, but that's another story), so now the only thing holding me back is finding the time to actually pop in that 1 mile Walk Away The Pounds DVD. I need to find out my brother's work schedule and I can do it at night. I can't do it in the morning because he's always asleep in the living room.
Anyway, I want to try again. Really. I feel really sick. Really unhealthy, and I hate it.
I want to feel my hip bones again.
I was in my closet today and I ran across a little skirt I used to wear in high school. I was in the flag corps, and on Fridays we wore little outfits to school kind of like cheerleaders. I have a green pleated skirt that I could wear when I was junior. I want to be able to put that on again. I've seen pictures of what I looked like in high school, and though I thought I was fat then (because that's what my mom told me), I know now that I wasn't that fat. I needed to lose about 40 pounds then. Now I need to lose about 175 pounds. Amazing, isn't it?
Anyway, I just need to try. One day at a time.
posted by Hungry Fat Girl @ 6:44 PM
2 Comments:
At 8:42 AM,
Sarah said…
I know you can do it. You are so awesome! Just start back slow and make a few mini goals besides having one really huge goal. I am so proud of you for not giving up. I am here if you need me.
At 11:52 AM,
Kat said…
You can do it! I know what you mean about the "I was fat in high school" thoughts. I've gained 100 pounds since I graduated and realize how good I looked back then. hang in there!
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