Here we go again!

Weeeeeeeeelll, this is like my frafrillionth time to join Weight Watchers.

This is my LAST. SERIOUS. TRY.

I'm committing to six months on the program before considering weight loss surgery.

Anyway, I am starting this blog so I can write all about my weight and weight issues and food addiction without tainting my real blog with all that stuff.

I am a fat, hungry girl and I need to get healthy.

I was telling a coworker the other day that I've always been overweight, but this is the first time I've felt unhealthy. My body is starting to let me know I need to do something, and I need to do it yesterday. ;)

I started the program Saturday, January 7, 2006.

Mentally, I've got to fight the urge to compare this experience with my experience in 2004. I started the program then in February and had lost 52 pounds by my birthday in June. I cannot expect the same results this time. This is a different time and I'm a different person. I cannot compare the things I do now with the things I did then. I've got to completely erase it from my mind.

Ok, so here I am, second day on the program and it's been tough already. I took my measurements last night and was appalled. As far as food goes, I was under my points target by about 4 points, but I figure that's okay since I ate Whataburger the night before. My last fast food meal for a long, long time (I hope).

Today has been the challenge. I had a birthday party to attend at Pappasito's. Now, I looooove Mexican food, but Pappasito's isn't my favorite. It's pricey and I just don't like the food that much. Anyway, I got there early and sat there watching everyone eat chips and salsa. It was the hardest thing, I cannot tell you. I wasn't going to waste my points on chips. Again, it was so hard. I knew if I even had just ONE chip, I wouldn't be able to stop. I didn't have any chips until my food came, and then I only had about 7 to go with my meal. I ordered tacos al carbon with chicken, and I think I did well. I ate one, brought one home. Maybe my brother will eat it later and I won't be tempted to eat it tonight or take it for lunch tomorrow.

Then they brought out a cake.

And I didn't eat any.

This is huuuuuuuuuuuuge for me. I'm a girl who could eat candy and cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I just said "no thanks" twice when my friend tried a second time by saying, "it's really good!" I sat there and watched everyone eat cake and I wanted some so badly, but I wasn't hungry and I didn't NEED it. But dear GOD, I wanted it.

I noticed how some of the thinner people ate a piece and left some icing behind.

And I wanted to eat it.

*sigh*

I have a long way to go. My Weight Watcher's goal is 180. I know from experience that if I set a time limit on my weight loss, I'm most likely setting myself up for failure. I would like to be under 250 by the time I turn 30. It's not impossible, and honestly, it's not that unrealistic.

I've missed out on a lot in my 20's because of my weight, and I want things to change for my 30's. I've got a year and a half before I turn 30. I do not expect to be 180 or even close to 180 by then, but under 250 would be wonderful.

The end (for today).